We walked along the beach for hours. I spoke from my heart to Annie. I found
her to be someone with whom I felt real intimacy. I told her that, and she
smiled as if the feeling were mutual.
"Do you love Jeff?" I asked.
"Not really!" she replied." I do enjoy his company. He's generous,
funny and very sexy. Also, he shares my uninhibited attitude toward sex. But
love, no! How about you with Jim?"
I thought for a long moment and finally answered. "I'd assumed I
loved him, but after last night I don't think I do. I just have the feeling
that with someone like you I could become much closer than I ever could
with Jim and maybe any guy. Maybe I'm a latent lesbian?"
Annie smiled and said "Don't let it scare you. It doesn't make you a
lesbian, it doesn't make you anything except what you already are. Anything
that we might have or that you might develop with another woman is in
addition to what you already have. Go ahead and have fun with Jim to
whatever extent you can, fuck him, feel good, fuck other guys. Feel good, and
share all that with me. Let's be secret lovers, no matter what happens. I
know myself that there are areas that I want to explore with you that I
haven't with anyone else. Did you know that it was my idea for the four of us
to spend this weekend together?"
"No, I didn't! I'm glad it was."
"Okay, well let's keep this to ourselves. Shall we go back in and
fuck those guys crazy or is there some little game you'd like to play."
"What do you mean?" I responded.
"Oh, anything. You could pretend that you're freaked out...
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